I used to be the kind of person who believed that it was okay to live your dreams and take chances, regardless of the relationships that might be changed or even severed because of it.

But in the last year, I’ve changed my mind. The recent losses of my family definitely have a lot to do with the decision I’ve made not to move an hour away from home.

Losing these two people, and watching my mother age makes me fear what moving away means for my chance to be there for my family. My mother is going to be 54 next year, and I worry now about her shoveling snow and scraping ice in the winter. She’s raising my nephew, who has a pretty severe case of Autism and it wears her out. My sister lives with her but they don’t really get along. When my mom needs someone, I want to be there.

My brother, since he has lost his girlfriend of 10+ years, is now having to move and he’ll be further away from my mom than he already is. 

If I leave and follow my dreams, and do what is best for my son with Autism, will I regret it? 

Will my family see me as leaving them?

Will I be able to stay connected to my family?

How will it effect my son after two deaths so close together? Or is staying here sacrificing what he needs most to be a productive citizen?


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