Recently there’s been a death in my family. It was one of those unexpected deaths that hits you and is tragic because of their age. It’s made me think on a deeper level. Much deeper.

Life is so short and we always expect to wake up the next day, but that’s not a guarantee. And if life is short, then why do we hesitate to live the life we want to live? Because we forget that it’s short.

I do the family tree in for my parents’ sides of the family and every time someone dies, I have to update profiles and I have to ask myself if I’ve included everything about that person’s life to let them be known to whoever wants to know them later. Just because they died doesn’t mean they should be forgotten, should it?

Then again….don’t we all forget the past eventually? Even the people in them? Where we came from, what we were like?

I live in America and our culture is very individualistic. Maybe it’s an influence of my culture that I think people should be remembered. That each of us has something to offer in our time here on earth, and afterwards. Because if that person wasn’t born, didn’t play their part, things would certainly be different. We have a ripple effect on everyone we come in touch with, and although we may not pay much attention to that, this is how we remain with those who are close to us and mere strangers. Because influence is influence regardless of how we see it. I like to believe that we leave lasting impressions, and that our lives are too short to not do what scares us the most.

I’m not talking about crazy stuff. Obviously use reason-don’t become a drug addict because you never got to experience it or were always afraid of it.

I’m talking about the important stuff-the stuff that might change who you are, that might get you out of your comfort zone. I’ve obviously been thinking about this myself, and I haven’t made a decision yet. I know I will when the time is right, but writing always helps me during the process.

If life is short, and family is important because I know death is inevitable, and the opportunity to experience life will help Goku, then moving to a place that will provide more opportunities in his life is something I want to do. I should do it, right? But then it means moving away from my family, even if it is only an hour or two away.

The real reason I haven’t moved? I’m terrified. What if I hate it? What if transferring to a new work place, a new place to live, a community where I know maybe one person, is too much for us to take in? I love my hometown because it’s familiar. I love that I know where everything is, and that people I love are around the corner.

But as much as I love that, complacency is too often my rut. I get stuck there and I don’t want to move. I get too used to it and forget that change is good for me. But does it mean I need to move?


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